Even the Boss Gets Moody: A Morning Chat About Being Your Own Boss

One morning an old friend called me. Simple question, where do I usually stay when I go for a holiday in Port Dickson. I gave the usual answer, just a standard hotel with its own beach. But since his family is big, I suggested an apartment instead, more comfortable and more worth it.

This friend of mine owns a western food restaurant in Kemaman. Not working for someone else anymore, he took the step to run his own business quite some time ago. So I teased him a bit, "What's there to worry about, you're the CEO now, go and enjoy yourself. You have plenty of staff, let them handle it."

He laughed, then said something that made me pause for a moment.

"I'm not running Megah Holding. I can't just hop on a flight with a driver sending me to the airport. This is a small business. I still have to monitor my staff, still have to supervise this and that."

From there, we started a long chat about something many people think is easy, but is actually never easy. Which is being the boss.

Once Scared of the Boss, Now He's the Boss

He told me, back when he worked under someone, life was always filled with fear. Scared of getting scolded, scared of not meeting the boss's expectations. He still remembers his old boss's face, sometimes moody, stressed, like carrying the whole world on his shoulders.

Now he's the boss himself. No one above him to mess up his head with orders. "My only boss now is the customer," he said. But funny thing is, he still has his moody days too.

And that's when he finally understood something. Even with no one above you, managing the people below you is a pressure that is just as heavy.

This is actually something many people miss. When we work for a salary, we feel the pressure comes from above. But when we become the boss, the pressure comes from below, from the side, from every direction at once. In HR, there's a term for this load, it's called emotional labour, the work of managing emotions. A small business owner doesn't just think about profit and loss, he has to manage the staff's emotions, the customers' emotions, and his own emotions all at the same time. All three at once, every single day.

Free, But Freedom That Comes With a Price

"It really is nice being the boss," he admitted. You can wear what you like, come in when you like. No one to question you.

But then he added one line that I think was the most mature thing he said the whole conversation. "That freedom has a price. Because now I'm the one who has to answer for everything. And I become the example for my staff."

This is true. In management, there's a concept called tone at the top. It means the attitude and discipline of the person at the very top will spread downwards. If the boss is always late, the staff start to feel being late is normal. If the boss cuts corners, the staff follow. So a boss's freedom isn't really freedom, it's a responsibility wearing the mask of freedom.

The Real Challenge, Managing People

When we got to the topic of staff, the real stories came out.

"Workers now are not like before," he said. Even the generation factor is something a boss has to think about. Many of them are Gen Z. Once he scolded a worker for playing with his phone in front of a customer and gaming during work hours. That same evening, the kid just didn't show up for work anymore. Gone, just like that.

I think a lot of small business owners can relate to this story. But to be fair, this isn't entirely the generation's fault. HR studies show that Gen Z don't actually hate work, they just respond differently to how they're corrected. They look for more meaning in their work, they're more sensitive to how they're treated, and they pull back faster if they feel unappreciated. So the old way, scolding hard in front of others, often backfires. The correction itself isn't wrong, but the way the message is delivered needs to change.

Two Types of Workers a Boss Must Know

After running the business for a while, my friend has gotten good at reading the types of staff he deals with.

The first type, the workers who do a great job, usually come from among the students. They work part time during semester breaks. Their minds are proactive, they understand instructions, they keep time, and they have good work manners. These ones have ambition, they have dreams. The problem is, because they have bigger dreams elsewhere, a job like this is only temporary for them. So this group is limited, and hard to find.

The second type, the ones who are plenty and who want to work long term, are usually the ordinary kids. Some dropped out of school, some are the motorbike gang, the vape boys. Their way of thinking is a little different, and they're honestly not as easy to handle as the first group.

But this is where I saw an opportunity my friend himself might not have noticed. In HR, this second group is actually a long term asset if managed properly. The first group is good, but they're a flight risk, they will surely fly off. The second group, if the boss is willing to invest a little, give some training, give some trust, give them a reason to feel valued, they're the ones who will become the backbone of the business. Many business owners fail because they only look for workers who are already good, when the real skill of a boss is shaping an ordinary worker into an extraordinary one.

Closing, Running Away Isn't Always Easier

At the end of our chat, he admitted he hasn't gone on a holiday in a very long time. Probably because he's been too busy running the business that he forgot to rest.

And that's when I started to realise something. Back when we worked for a salary, we always complained. Tired of working under someone, tired of following orders, tired of getting scolded. We imagined working for ourselves as some kind of beautiful freedom.

But when you really become the CEO, even the CEO of a small shop, the pressure doesn't go away. It just changes shape. Before, we worried about losing our job. Now we worry about losing staff, losing customers, losing profit.

Maybe the lesson isn't about which is easier, working for yourself or working for someone. It's about accepting the fact that every choice carries its own weight. The point isn't to run away from pressure, but to choose the pressure you're truly willing to carry, for something you truly believe in.

And sometimes, even the CEO of a small shop needs to stop for a while, bring his family to Port Dickson, and remember why he started all this in the first place.

Have you ever been in a similar situation and experienced being your own boss?  Drop your thoughts below. 

Shamyl Shalyzad, PhD, is a freelance writer, HR advisor, and social science researcher. He resides in Seremban, Negeri Sembilan

Boss Pun Boleh Moody: Sembang Pagi Pasal Cabaran Kerja Sendiri

Satu pagi seorang sahabat lama telefon. Soalannya ringkas, kalau bercuti di Port Dickson, biasa stay kat mana. Saya jawab biasa-biasa saja, hotel standard yang ada pantai sendiri. Tapi sebab keluarga dia ramai, saya cadangkan apartment, lagi selesa, lagi berbaloi.

Kawan saya ni pemilik sebuah restoran western food di Kemaman. Bukan kerja makan gaji lagi, dah lama dia ambil langkah berniaga sendiri. Jadi saya pun usik dia, "Apa nak risau, awak CEO sekarang, pergi la jalan-jalan. Staf ramai, biar mereka uruskan."

Dia ketawa, kemudian jawab sesuatu yang buat saya terdiam sekejap.

"Aku bukan urus Megah Holding. Bukan boleh senang-senang naik flight, ada driver hantar ke airport. Ini bisnes kecil. Aku tetap kena monitor staf, kena supervise itu ini."

Dari situ, mula la kami berborak panjang pasal sesuatu yang ramai orang ingat senang, tapi sebenarnya tak pernah senang. Iaitu jadi bos.

Dulu Takut Bos, Sekarang Dia Pula Jadi Bos

Dia cerita, dulu masa kerja bawah orang, hidup selalu dalam ketakutan. Takut kena marah, takut tak capai expectation bos. Dia masih ingat lagi muka bos dia yang kadang-kadang moody, stres, macam memikul satu dunia atas bahu.

Sekarang dia sendiri jadi bos. Tak ada lagi orang atas nak serabutkan kepala dia dengan arahan itu ini. "Bos aku sekarang cuma customer," dia kata. Tapi yang peliknya, dia pun ada hari-hari moody.

Dan di situlah dia baru faham satu benda. Walaupun tak ada sesiapa di atas, mengawal selia orang bawah pun satu tekanan yang tak kurang hebatnya.

Ini sebenarnya benda yang ramai orang terlepas pandang. Bila kita kerja makan gaji, kita rasa tekanan datang dari atas. Tapi bila jadi bos, tekanan datang dari bawah, dari sisi, dari semua arah sekali. Dalam bidang HR, ada satu istilah untuk beban ni, namanya emotional labour, kerja menguruskan emosi. Bos bisnes kecil bukan saja kena fikir untung rugi, dia kena jaga emosi staf, emosi customer, dan emosi sendiri serentak. Tiga-tiga sekali gus, tiap-tiap hari.

Bebas, Tapi Bebas Yang Ada Harga

"Memang best jadi bos," dia akui. Boleh pakai apa yang suka, datang waktu yang suka. Tak ada siapa nak tanya.

Tapi dia tambah satu ayat yang saya rasa paling matang sepanjang perbualan kami. "Kebebasan tu ada harganya. Sebab sekarang aku yang kena jawab semua. Dan aku jadi contoh kepada staf bawah."

Ini betul. Dalam pengurusan, ada konsep namanya tone at the top. Maksudnya, perangai dan disiplin orang paling atas akan menular ke bawah. Kalau bos selalu lewat, staf pun rasa lewat tu biasa. Kalau bos potong jalan, staf pun ikut. Jadi kebebasan seorang bos sebenarnya bukan betul-betul bebas, ia satu tanggungjawab yang menyamar sebagai kebebasan.

Cabaran Sebenar, Menguruskan Manusia

Bila sampai bab staf, barulah keluar cerita sebenar.

"Pekerja sekarang bukan macam dulu," dia kata. Faktor generasi pun bos kena fikir. Ramai budak Gen Z. Pernah sekali dia tegur seorang staf sebab main handphone depan customer dan main game masa kerja. Petang tu juga budak tu terus tak datang kerja lagi. Hilang macam tu saja.

Saya rasa ramai peniaga kecil boleh relate dengan cerita ni. Tapi kalau kita nak adil, ini bukan sepenuhnya salah generasi. Kajian HR menunjukkan Gen Z bukan benci kerja, mereka cuma respon berbeza terhadap cara teguran. Mereka lebih cari maksud dalam kerja, lebih sensitif pada cara dilayan, dan lebih cepat undur kalau rasa tak dihargai. Jadi cara lama, iaitu tegur keras depan orang, selalunya jadi bumerang. Bukan teguran tu salah, tapi cara hantar mesej tu yang kena ubah.

Dua Jenis Pekerja Yang Bos Kena Kenal

Lepas lama berniaga, kawan saya ni dah pandai baca jenis staf yang dia hadap.

Jenis pertama, budak-budak yang kerja bagus, selalunya dari kalangan student. Kerja part time masa cuti semester. Otak mereka proaktif, faham arahan, menepati waktu, dan ada adab kerja. Mereka ni ada wawasan, ada cita-cita. Masalahnya, sebab mereka ada cita-cita lain yang lebih besar, kerja macam ni cuma sementara buat mereka. Jadi golongan ni terhad, dan susah nak cari.

Jenis kedua pula, yang ramai dan yang nak kerja lama, selalunya budak-budak biasa. Ada yang tak habis sekolah, geng motor, mat vape. Aras pemikiran mereka lain sedikit, dan memang bukan senang nak handle macam golongan pertama tadi.

Tapi di sinilah saya nampak satu peluang yang kawan saya sendiri mungkin tak perasan. Dalam HR, golongan kedua ni sebenarnya aset jangka panjang kalau diurus betul. Golongan pertama bagus, tapi mereka flight risk, memang akan terbang. Golongan kedua pula, kalau bos sanggup melabur sedikit, beri latihan, beri kepercayaan, beri sebab untuk mereka rasa dihargai, merekalah yang akan jadi tulang belakang bisnes. Ramai peniaga gagal sebab mereka cuma cari pekerja yang dah sedia bagus, sedangkan kemahiran sebenar seorang bos ialah membentuk pekerja yang biasa jadi luar biasa.

Penutup, Yang Lari Pun Tak Semestinya Lebih Senang

Hujung perbualan, dia mengaku dia dah terlalu lama tak bercuti. Mungkin sebab terlalu sibuk menguruskan bisnes sampai lupa nak berehat.

Dan di situ saya mula sedar satu benda. Dulu masa kerja makan gaji, kita selalu merungut. Penat bawah orang, penat ikut arahan, penat kena marah. Kita bayangkan kerja sendiri tu satu kebebasan yang indah.

Tapi bila betul-betul jadi CEO, walau CEO kedai kecil sekalipun, tekanan tu tak hilang. Ia cuma bertukar bentuk. Dulu kita risau hilang kerja. Sekarang kita risau staf hilang, customer hilang, untung hilang.

Mungkin pengajarannya bukan tentang mana lebih senang, kerja sendiri atau kerja bawah orang. Tapi tentang menerima hakikat bahawa setiap pilihan ada beban tersendiri. Yang penting bukan lari dari tekanan, tapi pilih tekanan yang kita betul-betul sanggup pikul, demi sesuatu yang kita betul-betul percaya.

Dan kadang-kadang, seorang CEO kedai kecil pun perlu berhenti sekejap, bawa keluarga ke Port Dickson, dan ingat semula kenapa dia mula semua ni.