forty

someone remind me forty
they say bout last junction
i m stood and still
 jump in to pond
and go deep

mine  always mine
give me time.

Once a Gunners

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

I remember Sam

I remember Sam. Samsuddin Basrah. If there is one thing about Sam, it would be his smile. Yes his contagious smile. Warm, assuring and fatherly even. I have always wondered why his smile never left his face. Sam wore his smile like a mask and we never saw an ugly Sam. Never. Slim, clean, straight forward and personable. He would be akin to the Cliff Richard or Ricky Nelson of our generation. No, Sam does not sing. Not even like us after astengah at the bar. We did not catch him singing in the bathroom either. But on some very rare times Sam rose to the occasion and belted his heart (and voice) out. He stood up to be counted. Sam had the next door boyish image.

I had never served in the same Regiment or organisation with Sam. He was in 1 ARTY and I in 2 ARTY. I remained a field gunner throughout and Sam was a field gunner and air defender. Much of our interactions were at Corp activities, Corp mess nights, Corp games, conferences and army exercises.  We had not even attended one our courses together and I don’t play golf which was his favourite sport. He would always encourage me to play golf in every Corp golf competition. Come on Allen, he would always say as Director of Artillery.

Sam and I did not have the same feathers as we were close; yet not close. In the same flock but different birds. Sam was a couple of years older than me and those others of our vintage; circa 1960s. I believe this small age gap made him more responsible and matured. That is not to say Sam did not participate in our rowdy activities. Sam was never a leader in such ativities but was always dependable to participate, his smiles and all. Sam was a true thoroughbred team player. He was quiet and alert by nature. Always with a soft and encouraging voice. He would say his piece with full integrity and the truth matters most to him. He had left a good legacy for others to follow, which would be very difficult, as Sam had set an exemplary profile and left a high benchmark as a Gunner.

Sam left us too soon. Sadly and suddenly. Whilst he would no longer be with us, Sam and his quiet smiles would be missed by all of us.

Goodbye Sam, We are glad you were a Gunner.

Allen Lai

PS. Photo to be uploaded later. anybody got one?

Lust

Letting go, not as easy.
being better  is always  greasy
for the thrash no longer dizzy.

how much have to pay
just to brush away
the inch of dust
from undying lust.

pain n happiness

And I asking why pain's the only way to happiness
And  HE promise  you'll  always see the sun again

nothing is mine

if my life is for rent
I don't learn to buy
I deserve nothing more than I get
cause nothing I have is truly mine

lonely soldier

"Lonely Soldier"

Lonely soldier go home
Lonely, but never alone
Good eyes see nothing to shoot
Good feet feel good given up good boots 

Ask your father how do ya fall
Like a leave sitting on the ground
Good for nothing except kicking around

She died with her hand stretched out
She died with a hungry mouth
She died with a mind full of doubt
(And a pulse of weakening)

So may river never dry
May your mouth never lie
May you be satisfied to never know why
Sometimes, someone just wants to die
Where'd you get those cuts in your hand
I thought I told 'bout playing in the sand

There's always someone carelessly class 
There's always questions no one asks