scribbles

Feel like finding new world and life, explore fresh oppurtunities, get back to be rejunevated and soul that long for prolong soothing. 

Going places where cosyiest book arounds..I want to read bout life that inspired even thru pain and shattering hope. I wish to walk the street again, sitting looking at people and sunset. I want to talk to strangèr all day long over falling rain, storrying about the hope of tmorro.. I want to crash myself in the white sand and burried over washing shore. Yes I will not leaving myself again , but will hanging on thru what will come. 

How dissapointing would be, about very lost me. I dont know, how days still belong to me, but just continue driving hiway without stopping. Even how intriguing building and castles  wooing along the path.

I just want to shout happiness, lounding the sorrow at night peak, and fall into beautiful sleep even morning no longer belong to me.

 Love how he will hesitate me, will not play the game of guessing. Yes I wrong myself, and will forever go 

wrong..doesnt halt me find the right. Even minutes end soon iI want to still choose the right.

 Are they conscious choice? Or we just oblivion creatures that  holds not  to any hope of getting and  better. Do it, pray and move. Dont ever leaving that. Times even you need crawl with your own mistakes never ever thinking of losing the hope. If you were dying, let the spot that you died in the position  and direction of the right even a inch. 

Refocus ur lence, wipe the dust and cloud at the windsreen. When tin feels emty where do yo go to fill the void?

coret seorg diarist

Aku masih gagal beri yg terbaik. Aku tidak memacu tekad dgn kelajuan yg maksi atau masih byk leka berhenti di RNR leka dan bersantai pesta.  Sedangkan misi yg besar dilengah tidak dipedulikan. Mengapa aku dihadir ujian dihujung saat aku mula menekan pedal semangat. 

Mengapa jalan yg ku nampak dihadapan utk sampai destinasi dan di kala itu wiper tidak berfungsi lantas kabur pandangan arah yg aku memilih. 

Aku kini sebak dan salah, sampi bilakah rse salah dan dosa ini akn terus belenggu diri..atas kita mmg dilahir sebgai pendosa dan itu yg dipikul bebannya.

Sedang aku tahu, masa semakin suntuk dan aku disimpang yg terakhir. Simpang yg harus dipilih dgn tuntus dan bkn ade jln bisa utk membuat u turn..aku tidak berat mana timbangan takar aku di saat ini, berat kurang lebih dibelah mane. Yang pasti tentangan semakin hebat dan aku semakin mundur, yg sepatutnye aku membuat serangan ofensif. 

Manakah sumber telaga tekad yg utuh, adakah engkau mahu kemarau kembali dtg menyapu kembali semua nikmat dan kau kembali dalam ketar yang panjang. Dan waktu nk kembali menadah tangan, melaung yg engkau berjanji yg lebih baik..berapa kali drama ini perlu diulang tayang? Dgn pelakon san kontak yg sama, pastinya Tuhan sudah bosan

Catat

[26/05, 07:30] : Bangun 0630, lihat HP, solat subuh dan mengaji. Lihat HP balik, browse ape2 yg menarik kat twitter. Aku rasa byk bole aku kenal yg minat buku dan menulis. Aku rase ni cara terbaik utk cari grup gila yg sama. Hope to find more frens and explore new world.

[26/05, 16:11] : Bicara ttg split personality. Mmg benar dan wajar sebab perjuangan hidup selaku manusia adalah melawan keburukan diri dan mengekal kebaikan  diri. Ia semacam perjuangan yg panjanng dalam hidup dan melalui beberapa fasa. Bile melepasi fasa umur 40 sepatutnya kita sudah cukup matang dan kekar utk memandu perkara yang lebih baik. Jika tidak kita akan menghadapi masalah meneruskan hari2 yang seterusnya.  Aku merasa cukup goyah pada waktu ini. Disangka aku sudah dapat mengawal segenap nafas nafsuku tetapi bila dtg waktu diuji itu lagi, aku merasakan seakan aku tidak ada bekalan langsung untuk bertarung. Ternyata keadaan ini amat memulikan diriku. Sagat sadis dan sayat.

[26/05, 16:22]  Aku amat harap dpt dikembalikan fokus, will, passion dan continuty dalam tekad. Ini eleman yg amat perlu utk kelangsungan peperangan yang semakin hebat ini. Telah aku bangkit dari seribu kesungkuran namun bila telah lama menggalas piala kemenangan, tamparan sebuah ketewasan amat mengguriskan hati aku. Ini tanda aku tidak bisa terus mendabik dada, kerana telah diaturkan pelbagai ujian yg bakal aki hadapi. Langkahlah walau pahit, langkahlah walau perit, teruskan langkah walau terasa payah dan seakan putus asa. Biar waktu  ini perasaan yg kerap membisik utk berputus asa, mungkin destinasi tidak berapa jauh lagi. Mungkin sekarang kabut menyelubungi hari2 mendaki kerana mungkin juga engkau telah hampir sampai ke puncak.

Kau Bisa Saja

Kau  bisa saja hentikan detak ini, 

Biakan aku sia sia,kosong dan hampa.

Kau bisa saja rentap nadi ini

Biarkan aku terkapai tanpa makna.

Kau  bisa regut hela nafas

Birkan ku lemas hanyut tiada tepi.

Mengapa dlm contengan dosa,

Kau masih hidangkan layar beranginkan bhagia.

22 may 20 seremban.

mengenag mu

Mengenag mu

Ku rindu redup wajahmu,

ku damba senyum resahmu,

 ku ingin menunggangi beban fikiranmu, dalam resah renungan mu, pada sepangkal  malam , di gua atas bukit yang bercahaya.

Kau kini jauh, namun , setiap kata mu masih dengung melantun disegenap  resahku,  masihku tercari mencari isi makna ..

Andai diizin masa, akan ku daki bukit itu, damping memerhati saat engkau merenung  bintang jauh..

Dan jika diizinkan, untuk ku berbicara  panjang dengan mu. di bawah sinar sabit terang, bercerita tentang duka umat mu, kisah akhir masa dan janji -janji Nya.

20 mei , seremban 2020

The Story of Luth (Lot)

Lot was nephew of Abraham, they were in the same journey until being parted, Lot was instructed to City of Sodoma. The people of the city was believed involved in insolent and immoral nature of homosexuality.  Besides of homosexuality, the abhorring  people used to cut off the highway, rob the traveller , cheating and commit bad act in the public and assembly. Their shy less and perversion act gone to far when they said , ‘ Expel the family of Lot from the town, they are people of clean and pure’ (27:56) . Further they mock Lot admonition and they said  ‘ Brings us the chastisement of Allah if you are truthful ? (29:29).

Angels were sent down by God to  the people of Sodom to receive their punishment.  The angel passed Abraham and he ask, ‘ For what matter have you been sent ? ’ And the angel replied ‘ we have been sent to sinning people. We sent upon the them stones of clay, marked by your lord for the wanton’ ( 51:31-34) . The angel explain further to Abraham , ‘  We are to destroy the city of this town ,surely they are evildoers’.

‘But Lot is in the city.’ Abraham exclaimed. But the angel said, ‘ We are all aware of who is there, we shall save him and his family except his wife, she shall be of those who stay behind’. ( 29:31) Abraham expected the people  of Lot would be repented and accepted the call of God. But  God had described that the command has been decreed and the people will be punished and nothing to change this from happening.

Angel Gabriel, Michael and Israfil approach the city Sodom and disguise as good looking youth , in order God to put the people test and hujjah for their punishment. They came towards the town of Lot about afternoon and reached river of Sodom. They met the daughters of Lot Ritha and Zaghrata  amid taking water for her family and ask her for shelter. Ritha warned them not to enter the city, and asked them to wait until she came back. She feared that the two youth (angel)  will be become the victim of Sodom misbehave.

The daughter inform their father about the guest, Lot was grieved and felt unable to protect them and he sigh ‘ This is distress day’ . Lot brought the guest home and nobody appeared to know them accept their family. But his wife went to her people and informed them. After knowing  in the house of Lot are men such beautiful faces, people came rushing toward him.

Lot Said, ‘ These are my guest, do not disgrace me. And fear God , and do not put me in shame’  They said, ‘ Have we not forbidden you to plead for the people?’ He said(Lot) These are my daughters to marry if you act so.’ (15: 67-71)  . Lot urged them to go to their wives and threatened them with severe consequences if they do not cease from their practice. But the people disputed the warnings.

Finally the punishment took place.  ‘ When our Command came to pass. We turned habitation upside down, and rain upon the brimstones hard as baked clay, layer on layer (11:82). Angel Gabriel uprooted the city from the earth, they were all together 7 cities with its habitants and animals. He lifted the sky and threw it upside down. The wife of Lot who said went along fled with him(Lot) , however she turned back towards the  people after heard the sound of the Blast. And then the brimstone fell upon her and smashed into pieces.

This living example for other people to come who may repeat the crime. Always keeps to teaching and the commands of God. Today as we pass Tall el- Hamman in Jordan, the Mount of Sodom always remind us the story took place.  God said ‘ And Indeed  you pass by them in the morning and by night; Will you not understand’ ? (37:137) . This is because God always remind us , ‘ the punishments is never far from the evildoer’ (11:83).

joshua the moses attendant.

In surah khafi foretold about the story of moses met khidir in their mysterious journey. Moses came with his companion that the name did mentioned in the quran. From exegetes the man was prohet joshua or yusak. 

Who was him? Not much story been told, the isrealites believe that theres not other prophethood after moses except joshua. The event tell about how the propehrthood switch from moses to jusuo is also doubful.

 in the bible that god commanded moses and aron to arrange israelites into tribe in preparing the war to capture baitulmuqadis. The fight is to end their wandering after 40 years since the fled from phorah and saves by god from the parting sea. During moses conqured the great city , joshua was his vanguard . Record was blur whether moses was involve in the war bcoz death had drove him very near at that time.Aaron was said died two years before moses death. 

The hadith from iman ahmad 2:235 mention ' the sun has never held for human being except for joshua.' During the battle when they almost won but the day reach asar and nite will turn to saturday. Sunday was a day that forbid the jews to involve in any battle. Joshua pray upon god to held back the sun, and is how the hadith came about.

Before they advance to battle,joshua segragate the army to those unfit to fight or had any other concern that lacking their focus like those not been with their or pregnant camel or got waiting to deliver. 

When they  won the war, god said in surah baqarah verse 58 to enter the town and eat freely, enter the gate prostrating, beg Him for forgiveness. But those who transgress subtituted and enter it creeping on their buttocks and grain in their hair. God sent down plague from the sky for their wickedness.

When isreal conqured baitul maqdis, the city held for the long time. Propeht joshue rule with justice in the light of Torah. He was 127 old. And he lived after moses for about 27 years.

David Slew Goliath

In surah Al baqarah starting verse 246 , when the Jews felt weak to fight any other  battle, they  ask from God to give them a king to renew their strenght. When their prophet (samuel) told they were given Thalut as new ruler,  they denied him because  the Jews claim the progeny of King must come from Judah household , and prophethood from the progeny of Levy. The prophet then told that  God choose whom He please. 

Again when the Jews were a urged to fight war against Jalut they deny to fight. God put a test to them at a river and told those who drink will not be among His companion.  Only little did steadfast,  did not drank the water which not exceed 300 people. 

Those surpass God test, worried and ask how we they can fight against Thalut when their numbers are less. The prophet remind then how often God  has a small company overcome  big company.

They advanced against Thalut and pray 'Oh Lord, pour out upoun us constancy and make  our foothold firm and help us against disbelieve people,  

In verse 251 said 'And David  slews Goliath (Jalut)  and God give him sovereignity and wisdom . And taught him of what he please. And were it not for God repelling some people by means of other, the earth have been filled with corruption, but God is Bounteous to the worlds.'