on writing...

The best word to say about of all thing is -  I'll try. And I had said this many times and keep on repeating it. Even I dont see what really lies ahead, butI guess I will drive as far as  my car lamp could lit the dark way . I thinks I should confront the taboos of conventional writing  perception. No rules or format that bound  for me  to write. Just enjoy crafting my thots into words, as I please.  

I reread one of my old book , it was a chicken soup motivation series in rekindle the spirit of writer. I astonishingly  learning new hope in become writer, and keep on writing. I learned how succesful writers went through formidable challenges moment before become what they are. Hundreds series of rejection from publisher, giving up with ridiculous writings, the stoned of ideas, and the numbed of creativity. Even some writer recollect their kneaded paper from dustbin to rewrite again.

I guess for all this while I have not bcome very consistence, and got lack of focus to write. There was no special allocated time planned in advance, just through random gut feeling. I assumed this would'nt going to work effectively. Again the book remind me , disciplines is above everything even talent sometimes defeated by it. If I want my works have progressive trend, the only solution is by disciplines  and planned daily rountines. If I just keep on waiting your best mood timings to come, I will promised you ended up nowhere.

I remember, during my best time persuing my post grad course, I kept a tight routine of spending planned and routine time at library. I got full time study scholarship, and treated everyday from  9 to 5 as my working hour at the library to complete assigments and preparing lectures notes. The outcome was fruitfull, I had more time to spend with my family during weekends. If I emulate this same concepts to writing,  I'm kinda sure it bare the same results.

Writing contents always bcome my true barrier which often halt me half way through. I noticed that I too lazy to do research on pertaining topic, not sensitives too details and lacking on meticulous eloborations.  I easily jump into conclusion at accerelated speed to finish the writing up. I only produce surfacing contents withount deep exploration of ideas. So again  I advising myself sternly, dont take easy in doing rsesearch, reading more material, speak to people to share their thots, keeps alot of notes for references.

Writers mind never goes to bed , he or she always have lingering thots that work for 24 hours in his mind. Dont miss every miraculous ideas which passing through the mind, pen  paper always at standby mode to capture the initial thots before it bcome faded between other thinkings.

Last and least dont make this pleasure beďcome heavy burden to your interest. It should be something inspiring your day and not a stressful responsibilty that sadden your motivation. Find the right spot, place or cosy cafe that can boast your spirit to write. And I'm pretty sure a cup coffee always the best companion while you scribbling the first drafts !

some political thots

Looking at current political scenario, i just want to share some laymen thots and humble way forward. What i really hope to see is this country is run by bunch of people with deeper seriousness to implement good governance and kept aside of his personal interest. We hv been seen the power interest as luxury gain and longing while spent splendid amout of cost to occommodate the prestigeness of people in power.

This came me with the question : do we really need power in order to contribute to the nation? How can we give something  out from ourself without eager to get our luxury return? Our contry has run on himself during without minister during early political turmoil early this year whebln the govt had to be resolved befòre new decision is made. At that time was an early out break of covid 19 pandemic and country had  adminstered by KSU and DG and went on a superb job. So it proven and measure the capability of our hardliner in handle the real job of managing the country effectively.

Leadership is important catalyst to determine the right and effective policies but when politics become narratied as the battle of power, it yeilds nothing but instability and worsening country survivalbility.

Those in power will not let their empire to be collapsed to another party , because defeat means  their past misdoings will be unraveled . For the hardcore supporters,  losing  their boses will lead them to the lost of teñders and projects.  All this portray about the interests of each one hold and try not losing what that the already had.

The govtment today was formed by pact or coalitions of combined parties who allied each other to ousted those currently in power. They make promise to each other if they won, powers are distributed evenly and each party members will have their portfolious in the cabinet. Inherently this type of goverment has weak foundation and wont stand strong in trying moment . This was clearly showcase when members of party or parliament doing leap froggimg to another party because of some internal crisis and lost of trust and interest.

Today we see again another political upheaval when the leader of some party seek audien from royal place claiming he has majority of vote in the parliament. The breathtaking drama will be reoccured and the citizen again were put in economical jeoperdy.

Its inevitable for the heated rivalry to occur, because we the one who carve the scenario leading to it. When being in power is more important than serving the nation,  just and see what would happen next.

I  believe , shared of vision was never established among the peope who want to be in power. As long as he claims he will be better leader than the current one, then the rat race will potentially prolong.

And my final thot, without being too hopeless and giving up, let us sometimes work together for betterment. Humam always a  solution to harness, not a problem that disrupts a nation.

Seremban, oct 2020.

catatan sebuah harapan yg risau

 Pagi ni ku bangun sugul. Fikiran camput baur, semangat sedikit luntur dgn masalah yg dtg. Kdg sejenk aku fikir, apakah aku telah buat yg terbaik utk bangun darpada sebuah kejatuhan.  Kdg semangat pudar disebab rasa tiada sokongan daripada ssorg yg hampir pada kita. Kdg terfikir begitulah selayaknya utk aku, ketentuan yg sedemikian yg wajar ditakdirkan utk org sperti aku, entahla.

Aku nk berjaya, cipta kegemilangan diri sendiri.megikut cita rasa dan minat diri, sebab aku ade passion dlm diri yg membuak. Namun ia tak semudah prasaan saja, jika mahu beranjak, kehadapan , mencipta dinasti kejayaan perlu pengorbanan. Pastinya korban masa tenaga, korban tenaga dan yg paling utama korban prasaan putus asa, buntu dan tak nampak jalan.adakah waktu itu kita hendak lupekan segala cita, menarik selimut selesa tanpa buat apa apa? Ternyata kejayaan harus dibeli dgn air mata dan bangun beratus kali dari sebuah  putus asa .

Bagaimana klau kita tak nampak jalan, segalanya seakan tidak mengizinkan? . Rehatla sebentar, labuh la tubuh yang renta semangat itu sambil menadah tangan 'berilah aku jalan dan semangat kerana aku yakin, setitik cahaya sudah cukup menerang semesta penujuk jalan'. Tiada apa milik aku, cuma kembara fana seorg hamba yang tiada apa2 selain mengharap dan terus mengharap.

 Kdg risau berfikir andai nafas  diregut tika aku tidak bersedia. Tpi bukankah hak dia , dan aku tiada hak utk persoalkan, kerani tiada satu yg aku miliki dln hidup ini. Hak aku mungkin amalan yg sempat dibungkus utk di bawa ke sana.

Jadi apa yg perlu dirisaukan adalah siapkan bungkusan itu, takut klau aku lupe dan leka dgn hal lain..

rezeki yg dimengerti

AKU perlu menarik

Helai helaian rezeki itu, untuk memberi ruang laluan rezeki yang sering kau pinta..

Kerana , tanpa hilang rezeki itu, 

Rezeki yang satu lgi tidak dpt hadir.

Angguk aku mengerti.

Bungkusan Itu

Bungkusan itu

Masih blum diikat rapi

Sebelum di bawa keluar pintu

Satu malam aku

Aku bermimpi

melangkah keluar lantas tertinggal bungkusan itu,

 Lalu cuba undur malang

pintu telah berkunci rapat.

Sejak itu aku lama menghilang , bukan apa dan ke mana   ,

cuma menyiap ikatan terakhir bungkusan sebelum melangkah keluar lagi.

Seremban. Okt 2020

empty chair

We gone this far

Why asking me again 

about yesterday dreams, about the rainy nights, i stare you thru bleak window outside our door.

I saw you  still, cosyly slept, after we talked all day long,  about how we can make it to the end.

You didnt see me,

During the cold breeze, my voice faded by  the  cluttered wind.

What bout my song, dont it make you cry, or it is  not sad enough

While you still smile see me drown and gasping asking for air to breath.

I left the house ,

Make it empty for you,  so you enjoy the morning breeze rays and stare my empty chair.

Dayung dan sampan kehidupan

Byk kali berfikir tentang nilai dan prinsip yg harus digunakan sebagai dayung menongkah arus kehidupan. Dayung sebagai prinsip penting yakni 'will power' , motivasi memastikan sampan smpai ke destinasi yg hendak dituju .namun kerap dayung tak berdaya melawan arus kerana arus terlalu hebat dan deras. Sebagai sampan yang kecil, sekali dipukul ombak, pasti dihanyut terdampar mahupun tenggelam lemas.

Terdapat dua kaedah untuk teruskan kayuhan setiap kali hanyut terdampar. Pertama sampan harus dibina lagi, dan kali ini  dengan kayu yg lebih utuh dan tekad yg lebih besar untuk berdaya melawan ombak yang menggulung. Kedua dayung kayuhan perlu ditukar ganti dgn satu mekanikal yg dipacu oleh kuasa automatif agar deras menuju destinasi.

Sampai bile harus tewas setiap kali di landa ombak, jika hanya mendayung sampan yg sama. Benar, mungkin pendayung bukan seorg yg lantas berputus asa, namun tenaga akan renta, semangat akan pudar jika tidak cube 'membesarkan' diri , melengkapkan tubuh dgn senjata lebih kontemporari untk hadapi dugaan alaf baru yg lebih menggigit.

Bile kita cube mengangkat sauh lagi, berpeganglah pada tali yang lebih kuat, iaitu ilmu pedoman sebagai pelaut, memahami arah angin, suara suara ombak dan arah naluri terbang burung harapah. Lebih lgi mengenal  Maha Pengasih yg melambai lambai jauh dari destinasi tujuan.