Meet Bond, Ruskin Bond

I have no idea whoabouts of this writer. It started when one day I bought stock clearence book sales at local bookshops only at RM 3 per copy. I picked 10 books by glance, accidently one of them is The Lamp is Lit by Ruskin Bond. Born in Kasauli , Himachal Pradesh in 1934, an India writer of English descend, he considered to be icon among Indian writer and children authors.

After read few pages, flips few leaves from his journal, I come to agree that this man write so simple, greatly. He wrote poem and story while enjoying the shade of cherry tree. He will lying on the grass and doing nothing but next second he gets up, brush ladybirds from the shirts and trousers to procced to his desk to write. He said "what I need is a paper" .

He survived of 40 years free-lancing only for being simple storyteller. He strived to give pleasure to both child and adult by not hiding his scars, but by showing that it can be beautiful in spite of them. His advice are purely his, " do what you know best, do it well. Act impeccably. Everthing will then fall into place".

This old chap inspired me alot to write. At the final chapter of his journal , his words still thick and sound , " and these are my parting words to you, dear reader : May you have wisdom to be simple, and humour to be happy..."

Some lines from Mr Bond :

When I was ten, I was lonely and read books.

At fifteen, I played football with other boys.

When I was twenty, I courted the girls.

At thirty, I thought time had passed so swiftly.

When I was forty, I concluded that I was failure.

But at fifty, as I was still alive and well, I knew I was a success.

At sixty, I played old music and fell in love again.

At seventy, I went in search of old friends.

Transgender, show your pride

I refer to issue and article on Transgender, NST 20 Dec 2009, they faced formidable life of being alienated by the society. I agreed, they need special care, deep discourses and any form of serious counseling sessions enabling them to lead a normal life. They experiencing internal crisis of gender, they fought with their feelings on to be true and honest about themselves. And at the end they lost the battle, they became hopeless and tormented of trying to be right person. Now they didn’t care anymore, what people may say about the life they choose.

Hard to find work, not accessible to any job interviews are most horrifying reality to them. They ended at selling their pride, the least they can do to earn living. This consider most cheapest career they delve in with luxurious gains .

The perception of society has become norm of transgender, they are synonymous to sleazy sex workers. More sad reality they seems enjoying and feel nothing violate about their wrongdoings. They are actually downgrading themselves. They choose to do something that put disrespect of others. If they among those successful business people in any realm surely this can be an eye opener to others. If they want to gain respect , they need to behave respectfully, uphold their pride and dignity. No matter they are transgender or even normal person , any commit of outlaws are not compromised.

This aspect we should rectified. We cant change them completely, turn them to be real man overnight. But by injection of dignity are starter for them to feel respected and accepted.

2010

Slamat Tahun 2010. Saya menutup buku 2009 dengan mengharungi deman yang panjang. Hingga malam 31 , saya masih lesu dan tidak menunggu detik coutdown 12 malam. Tulisan ni pun dicatat pada jam 5.35 pagi apabila terjaga jam 0500, tersedar yang solat Isyak masih terbengkalai.

Resolusi tahun baru saya terlewat 5 jam. Tapi tak pe, kata org better late than never . Pertama setelah merasa deman hampir seminggu, saya akui bahawa sihat yang baik itu kurnia dan nikmat yang amat besar. Hampir semua kerja-kerji saya tergendala. Gejala yang saya alami :

1. Selera makan hilang.Meski KFC.

2. Hilang nafsu berkerja. Buat ape je jadi betul.

3. Fikiran tak mampu banyak berfikir.

Jadi, teringat kembali tentang gunakanlah sihat sebelum sakit. Bile dah sakit semua tak jadi. Kedua pada tahun ni saya mahu berpegang kepada keyword yang pernah saya saran pada diri sendiri iaitu :

1. Fokus

2. Serious

3. Masa

Dan saya merangkak ke 2010 dengan doa :

Tuhan, terlebih dahulu pinta dan maaf kerana dosa yang banyak. Dosa yang pernah dikesal tapi diulangnya lagi. Dosa yang tahu tapi dibuatnya jugak. Tuhan, saat sebegini terasa begitu kecil dan tidak dayanya diri untuk mengemudi diri melainkan AnginMu yang memimpin. Tuhan untuk sekian kali, hamba mu ini cuba mengoyakkan helaian mukasurat lepas, untuk memulakan catatan yang baru. Ya Tuhan, pada catatan kali ini hambaMu ini sedaya mungkin berjanji untuk untuk memenuhi cerita-cerita yang lebih baik .Insyallah.Amin

Di Jalan Sesat

Di Jalan Sesat

Apakah takdir mimpi ini
Mendatang berulang kali
Berdarah penuh di tanah
Sedang tangan menungkat langit

Apakah yang ku perjuangkan
Apakah yang dipertahan
Apakah mesti aku jadi pahlawan

Oh Tuhan

Tidaklah aku layak
Untuk SyurgaMu
Namun aku tak berdaya
Menahan panas NerakaMu

Curiga di mata orang
Bagai mentari rembang
Bagaikan aku berdosa
Pada siapa saja

Sedang Tuhan di mana-mana
Melihat semua dosa
Dalam serata usia
Walau ditelan
Segitiga Bermuda

Selalu ku mengulangi
Dosa yang telah ku buang
Diikuti kembali
Mengapa begini
Mengapa begini

Sedang Tuhan tahu sesiapa
Untuk Neraka untuk Syurga
Aku tak terpaksa memilih Syurga
Demi pengertian pada hukum alam

Dan sesungguhnya aku cinta padaMu Tuhan
Walaupun sesat jalan.

Kuala Lumpur : Tonight I Spent My Night With You

And again, after long time since I left u behind, I spent my night with you again.

And again, as usual you never fail to give for what I wanted.

KL, I thought want to prove to you how I changed alot, but your smiles had every story that still never erase from your diary.

I know, you knew how really I need to go on with this life. How the pain that still haunts , how the horrow still sings, I just want to show that I have change for good. Even whenever I run, the grief still follows behind.

KL, now I had life better. I dont care and give a damn how you will laugh about it. Just I dont know when will be my end. A thing for sure , I want say out loud , as long as I can feel the air and breath, I will never succumb, I will never tired to stand up again evertyime I fall.

I happy with all this pains. And I hope all the trials made me better and not become someone like you !

Procrastination

My last post was in September , and almost 2 months something stops me from write. I unsure what was it ,but i think it something to do with my inner occurence. I always dream to be a writer but i still on the quest of my consistency to write.It always that when my mood is condusive then i start writing, when bottle is emty then nothing seems to be producted.

But there was words from writer name of Diaz..who said ' in my view writer is writer because even there is ni hope, even when nothing you do shows any sign of promise, you keep writing anyway..'

Pak Cik Who Sold Apam Balik, but Refused to Sell during Ramadhan.

The stall was at residential area , invited few other residents from different taman. The sales of Apam Balik was handsome and Pak Cik is known by his specialty . I never miss during way back to taman, grabbed few of his Apam Balik. And it’s a great evening delicacies with some hot tea -o.

Pak Cik received endless customer, regular and irregular . As retired war veteran, with this stall business, Pak Cik lived moderate life yet happily. Sometimes Pak Cik will be joined with his comrades, also war’s veterans , giving him some helping hands run the tiny business.

Ramadhan along the corner, I enthusiastly spoke to Pak Cik about his business. Surely this Ramadhan by God willing Pak Cik will gain more income on selling his Apam. I told that Ramadhan surely invite extra customer and some will order for the large amount . Maybe there will be some bookings, so Pak Cik need more helper and advisedly upgrade the stall to become larger. Pak Cik smiled cordialy and nodded attentively . When Ramadhan just a day ahead, residents are became eager and some had plan to be there earlier to get Pak Cik’s delicious Apam Balik.

Hot Ramadhan evening and residents were out to pasar Ramadhan for breaking fast delicacies. I among early but…I just can’t believe my eyes that Pak Cik stall was not there…

Second Ramahan also the same, then gone weeks, but still the same. Where is Pak Cik ? I fail to find Pak Cik during Ramadhan. Residents also puzzled his sudden disappearance.

But at last I was made to met Pak Cik again. But that was during Syawal month. I stopped him and gave salam. He smiled as usual. I asked about his whereabouts during Ramadhan. With his sharp calmly smile he answered, “Sory son , Pak Cik open the stall after Isya’ and Terawih prayer everyday during Ramdhan at our residential surau. But this time Pak Cik give all for free. But confusedly , why customers not crowded as usual…"

After long thought, I understood what meant by Pak Cik.